Thank God, it´s Friday! Oder?

Robinson Crusoe fell desperately ill. Just before dropping into a coma,
he called for his man Friday to help him. "Friday, get help! Get help!"

"Yes!" Friday replied, "Get help now!" Not knowing what else to do,
he went outside of Crusoe's tent and danced and prayed for the gods
to come and help his master.

Shortly afterwards, he went back into Crusoe's tent and found his
master awake and staring at a beautiful glowing shape at the foot of his bed.

"Who is that?" Robinson Crusoe asked.

His helper answered, "Thank Friday! It's God!"

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order
a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three
flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.

The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.

The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his
fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bast*ard!
Spit it out!"

At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various brewing
organizations retire to the bar at the end of the day.
Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouts to the barman: "In Australia, we make the
best bloody beer in the world, so pour me a Fosters, mate."

Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: "In the States, we brew the king
of them all - gimme a Bud."

Hans steps up next: "In Germany ve invented beer. Give me un Helles,
ze REAL King of beers."

Jan, chief executive of Grolsch, follows by stating that Grolsch is the
ultimate beer and asks for one with two fingers of foam on top.

Norman, chairman of SAB, is next: "Barman, give me a diet Coke with ice and lemon please."

The other four stare at him in stunned silence, then Bruce asks:
"Aren't you going to have a Castle, Norm?"

Norman replies "Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer, then neither am I."